The hardest year

This has been the hardest year of my life...the reasons are boring, predominately self-inflicted, and not life threatening. But countless times from last August to now, I've honestly been way in over my head. As I recover to the point that I can hold on to joy throughout my day, I realize that Dag Hammarskjold's comment that the journey inward is the longest, is so true. It is a long, slow, winding road with so many highs and lows.

I've returned home to some musicians that seem to have had their share of highs and lows too. I've been visiting itunes to download music from Adele who apparently broke up with the love of her life and then wrote songs about it and Jill Andrews who definitely addresses the idea of light and shadows in her new album. Then there is old soul, favorite Gillian Welch. I first saw her video for Hard Times and cried, I think. I can imagine God saying these words for me:

Calling, "Come on my sweet old girl, and I'd bet the whole damn world
That we're gonna make it yet to the end of the road"

(I know, I know, that makes God a farmer and me a cow...but you know it is art, metaphor, whatever :) )

And telling me that my mantra for the next little while should be:

Singing hard times ain't gonna rule my mind
Hard times ain't gonna rule my mind, Bessie
Hard times ain't gonna rule my mind no more

It is amazing how you can spend much time and effort thinking about and dealing with your past, your personality, your reactions to the things life throws at you, and after all that, you've still got what you let in your mind everyday. Life is hard but God, Gillian, and so many others help me choose love and hope.

 

*** More to come on Liberian adventures soon!